I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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