I wannas sexs uuuuu
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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