dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
