He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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