Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize