It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
