Only a mothe r could love this liver
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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