So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize