i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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