wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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