You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well you can't waste a boner
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
