He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
