Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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