don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
