are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
