I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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