i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
