So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
