i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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