She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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