Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
