Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
