the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
