I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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