yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
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I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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