they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
