I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
