i barfeds in our rink
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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