I hate your face
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
