you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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