sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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