She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You were trust falling into bushes
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
