what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
