how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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