He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
