You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
