I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
