Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize