He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You are the jesus of drinking
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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