if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
