You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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