Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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