did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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