I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
