they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize