You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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