There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
