Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
