Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
