There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
