Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
