are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
