my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
