how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Mom said you looked used
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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