fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
