Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
