My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
