it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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